Cuddly Gremlins
by Amaya Redfern
Summary: In which Hawke wants more hugs, gremlins run rampant, the Smut Queen makes an appearance, and dragons leave nasty presents. Rated M for a reason my friends.


Hawke liked hugs.

_Really_ liked hugs. As far as she was concerned, she could cuddle with someone all day and never get tired of it. Only problem was, most people didn't like the idea of some strange woman with sharp daggers on her back hugging them for very long.

So she'd been elated when Fenris had finally come back to her. Surely it wasn't so strange to cuddle with a lover.

But the man outright refused to.

These thoughts were what were running through the rogue's head when she woke up that morning. She pouted at her pillow indignantly. Why was a hug such a problem? All the man ever seemed interested in were acts of a more…intimate nature.

Not that she objected or anything, but still.

She heaved a sigh and snuggled deeper into the warm blankets. It was embarrassing really, that she enjoyed simply being near someone so much. Here she was, the Champion of Kirkwall, who had readily taken down the Arishok without batting an eyelash, faced all the shit Kirkwall seemed to soak up with her head held high, and she was all beat up about not getting enough hugs.

Ugh. Disgusted with herself, she crushed a pillow over her head and debated the merits of sleeping the rest of the day away. Surely Kirkwall could do without her for a few hours.

Someone began banging on her door loudly. "Messere! The Guard Captain is here to see you, she says it is urgent!"

_Or maybe not,_ she thought on another sigh.

She told the dwarf to inform Aveline that she'd be there shortly, and dressed quickly, wondering what business had brought her here.

The red-haired woman greeted her with a short nod, and Hawke could tell by the set of her jaw that something dire had happened.

What a surprise, in an ever so peaceful town like this.

"Aveline," she said, with a greeting nod of her own. "What's happened?"

Her friend frowned and glanced away grimly, searching for the right words. "…I don't know how else to say this, Hawke. Gremlins have attacked."

"Again? That's the third time this week!"

"It's worse this time. It's no longer just a random mass of them. They've found a leader, some sort of very intelligent creature, and now they are using carefully planned out strategies against us. Ordinarily I'd be more than happy to take care of them myself and let you have a day off for once, but under the circumstances…"

"No need to explain, I understand," she said, repressing a huff of annoyance. Damn jabbering things just couldn't leave her in peace.

"That's not all. Our author got her hands on some really powdery donuts and the sugar is getting all over the keyboard. And that smut queen's been through again. All the men in town square are banging every good looking woman they can get their hands on. Though I use the term loosely."

Hawke sighed once again, bringing a hand to her forehead. It was going to be another late night. The smut queen's work took forever to undo, and if the gremlins had come through on the same day, she would have been in a raging fury, so there was no doubt she would be seeing some strange scenes. She had quite the imagination, that woman.

Hawke paused on a thought and looked up at her friend. "Tell me, were any of our…acquaintances in town square when she dropped by?"

"If you're wondering whether or not Fenris has been put under, I'm not sure. You'll have to check yourself."

Worry creased Hawke's eyebrows. She had no doubt that he would be faithful to her, even under some strange lust spell from a smut writer from another time, but she wasn't sure she'd be able to take his attentions. She barely had enough stamina to keep up with him on a normal day. With this extra lust piled on, she might not be able to walk for a few days afterwards. She grimaced.

"Best be off then. Seems I have a mess to clean up…"

"Ah, that reminds me. There were reports of a high dragon landing somewhere in Hightown. I haven't gone to find out just where yet, but ah, follow the smell of the…gift he left."

Hawke groaned and left before she could hear anything more.

Hawke kicked a gremlin away from her feet and it scrambled away with the other retreating critters, muttering incoherently. With the rogue and others of her party joining the fight, the nasty little things had been beaten back in a surprisingly short amount of time. Unfortunately, they had managed to get to many of the citizens, who were now speaking in unintelligible gibberish. The effects would eventually wear off, but only with repeated healings, and Anders was grumbling angrily at the amount of patients he knew he would be having soon.

Hawke wiped the sweat off her brow and announced "Alright, time to take care of the trouble the smut queen caused. With any luck we'll actually find her this time."

Varric wiggled his eyebrows. "With any luck, she'll find us first."

Hawke rolled her eyes, too tired and stressed to laugh. "That's probably the only way we ever _would_ meet her to be honest. She writes about people finding secret spots to hide and fool around in by her nature – not that she doesn't have them out in public often enough." She glanced over in disgust at a group of people who had only just barely managed to pull themselves into an alley before ripping each other's clothes off. Didn't hide a thing.

"You know, Hawke," Varric smirked, "if you really want to find her, have Anders slam you against the wall there, and she'll come trotting. She can't resist that. Throw in Broody, too, and she'll even get the popcorn."

Anders perked up at that suggestion. "I second that motion."

Hawke did manage a smirk that time, but kept a firm tone. "Anders isn't slamming me against anything anytime soon – not if someone else I know has anything to say about it anyway. And if I could _find _Fenris, I'd be more then happy to bait her here."

"Oh, Hawke. You are a party pooper. And too many anys in that last sentence."

She grimaced. "Maybe those damn gremlins got to me a bit." She glanced back at the alleyway once more, then did a double take. Her eyes widened and her hands clenched into fists.

"Hawke? What's -?" Varric's words were lost on the irate rogue as she stormed over to the dimly lit area, grunting sounds emanating from it.

There was a short line of scantily clad women very impatiently waiting for what Hawke had just seen, playing amongst themselves and a few other men who had joined. At the front of the line was none other than Fenris, busily…getting busy with one of those many women. Hawke growled from behind him and he stopped right in the middle, apparently recognizing her voice. He whipped his head around to see her, a strange mix of emotions on his face. Apprehension, frustration, and lingering lust.

Hawke didn't bother wasting any words on him, only grabbed the collar of his shirt that he hadn't completely removed, and proceeded to drag him away from the complaining women in the alleyway, and continue dragging him half naked across Kirkwall. He made loud complaints at first, but by the end of it he had gone rather silent, apparently feeling guilty. Or maybe he was just enjoying the abuse. Hard to tell with a smut queen's spell affecting him.

She shoved him through the door to her mansion, startling Bodahn and Orana greatly – she wasn't sure if Sandal understood what was going on, he just muttered a confused "…Enchantment?" – and pushed him into her room at the top of the stairs. She locked him in, deciding she would deal with him later. She wasn't about to go trying to punish a half-naked lusty elf in her bedroom. She wouldn't get very far. She tossed the still shocked Bodahn the key as she descended the stairs. "Don't let him out."

She pushed her thoughts of the aroused man in her chambers from her mind and walked outside. She paused suddenly when she saw a woman leaning against the wall of her mansion.

"You're back already? I thought you would be in there for hours."  
Giving the woman a suspicious once over she asked "What makes you say that?"

"It's not every day you have a sexy elf under a spell of lust in your bedroom. You couldn't have paid me to leave."

"I suppose that's true, but I have business to attend to…Just who might you be?"

"The one who gave you such a wonderful present, and I'm quite irritated that you aren't making good use of it. I've got hungry fangirls to feed, I need a story woman! Now get back in there!"

Hawke's eyes widened. "_You're_ the Smut Queen?"

"Of course I am. You see any other amazingly talented women in royal wear walking around here?" She waved her hand and Hawke felt moisture pool between her legs. "Now go straddle that elf of yours and ride him till the sun comes up."

Unbidden, Hawke felt her legs move to do just that, but with a significant amount of willpower, she resisted.

"Now you wait just a minute, you've made a great mess of this place, and everyone thinks its _my_ job to clean it up for you. We can't have all the men in Kirkwall banging every living breathing creature for the rest of eternity – you need to fix this!"

The smut Queen sighed. "Okay I will. But it will take a little extra," she waved her hand again and Hawke felt herself getting even hotter. "I hope you have some butter in the room, because for this, I want to see some backdoor action too."

A predatory grin lit the rogue's face. "I've got plans for my elf already. Don't you worry about that. Just do me a favor – no more inflicting all of Kirkwall with some kind of lust disease when the gremlins annoy you?"

"Oh, but Kirkwall will be crushed!"

"You're free to infect Fenris or anyone else I know whenever it pleases you. Just don't tell them I allowed you to."

"Deal."

Hawke fidgeted nervously but then asked "While you're at it, my Queen…can you do anything about cuddles?"

She blinked, perplexed. "Cuddles?"

"I'm a bit of a cuddle bear. No, don't laugh at me. I like hugs, what can I say, and I can't get that damned man to hold me for more than a minute. Is there anything you could do about that?"  
She deliberated for a moment before answering. "Cuddles are not really my forte." The Queen waved, "But I'll send you my Duchess. She's an expert."

Hawke gave a respectful bow. "Thank you, your majesty."

"I must be off now. I expect a full report soon!" She disappeared in a warm poof.

Hawke waited for a moment, wondering where this Duchess was supposed to come from, the heard footsteps behind her. She turned to see another woman with just as haughty an attitude standing with her arms folded.

"I'm told you asked for me?"  
"Yes, the Queen mentioned you might be able to help me with a bit of a problem I'm having." She explained the situation to the Duchess, who nodded quietly and considered her answer carefully.

"Hmm…Tell him that he is required to cuddle with you as much as you desire, and if he should refuse…" she grinned. "He'll discover the consequences quickly."

Hawke paused, uncertain. If the Duchess was anything like the Queen, she might make decisions that seemed amusing to herself, but were impulsive and strange to her own world. "Um. These consequences won't hurt him will they?"

The Duchess shrugged. "Perhaps his pride. But nothing more. Now get in there, the Queen is an impatient woman, and we're all dying to see how this is going to go." She also disappeared with a warm poof.

Hawke shook her head at the strange situation before heading back inside.

She took the key from Bodahn without explanation and quickly headed up the stairs and to her bedroom.

Inside, she found Fenris pacing like a caged animal around the room, breathing hard. He caught her gaze the moment she entered the room. The spell had worn off for certain – his eyes were no longer glazed with unbidden lust – but his desire hadn't. His gaze was sharp and direct, no longer eager to take any breathing creature around.

No, all he wanted now was Hawke.

A swell of feminine pride rose up from that, but she ignored it and continued to glare at him from across the room. He was in trouble, and he was going to pay.

They were both very still for a moment or two, he wondering how much trouble he was in, and she deciding what she was going to do with him.

Fenris apparently got tired of waiting and strode across the room to her, coming to a reluctant stop when she held up her hand.

"You're not coming any closer until I'm done yelling at you."

He rose an eyebrow. "I'd assumed from your silence you decided to forgo that and get to the more interesting part of the evening."

"There simply aren't words to describe how royally pissed at you I am."

"Then let's not waste any more time on it." He grabbed her hand and moved to pull her towards him, but she backed off, folding her arms. He sighed. "You don't honestly blame me for what happened, do you? I hardly even remember it – I wasn't myself! I'd never willingly be with anyone but you, surely you know that?" He was giving her exactly what Merril called his puppy eyes, which she was unfortunately pretty weak to.

"…No, I don't blame you for that. There's no helping it if someone else casts a spell on you. I'm still angry about it, though. So, with the help of the Smut Queen herself, I have decided on a punishment for you."

"Punishment?" he looked warily at her. "What kind of punishment?"

She took a deep breath, embarrassment at her weakness creeping up again. "We don't cuddle enough for my taste, Fenris. So, from here on out, if I want to just sit and be held, you have to do so, for as long as I want, or suffer the consequences."

"...And just what are the consequences?"

Deciding it was best to let him think she knew, she said "You don't want to find out."

He put a hand to his bent forehead, attempting – and failing – to hide an amused smile.

"So you think we don't…cuddle enough?"

Hawke pouted, irritated at the laughter bubbling in his voice. She couldn't really expect him to take this seriously, but she didn't like being looked down on. "No, we don't, I -"

Fenris pulled her into a tight hug that left her bewildered. She could still hear the mirth in his voice when he spoke from over her shoulder. "The only reason I don't hold you more often is because I thought you'd find such a thing irritating and weak. You're the Champion of Kirkwall – it's hard to think of you as the cuddly type."

Amusement bubbling in her as well now, she returned the embrace. "I'm still a woman. We're notorious for annoying you men by making you cuddle."

"You're the only one I know of who added magical repercussions if I refuse to do so however."

She chuckled then bit her lip as he began to run kisses down her throat. The man was still heavily aroused and she decided she'd made him wait long enough.

She shivered as he nipped at her skin and pushed at the remnants of the shirt he'd neglected to remove. He impatiently removed it, then wrapped one arm around her wait and tangled his other hand in her hair to angle her head where he wanted before pressing his lips to hers. He used his hold to deepen the kiss, his tongue going in and flicking at hers, encouraging her until they were engaged in a strange combination of duel and dance. Her own fingers were not idle – they stroked along his skin, tracing along the sensitive lines of lyrium embedded in his skin, deliberately neglecting to touch him below, so that he was growling into her mouth.

He pulled back long enough to remove her own clothing as well – the garments fell ungracefully to the floor as they came back together, moaning into each other's mouths as their fingers explored one another. Hawke gasped as he ran his tongue down her throat, letting her breathe for a moment. She pushed at his chest, moving him backwards toward her bed. He fell onto it and pulled her with him, moving her hips so she was straddling him. He moved a bit lower so his face was at her chest and worshipped her breasts with his mouth, caressing and nuzzling the sensitive skin before moving onto her nipples, sucking hard, then soothing them with wide sweeps of his tongue, grazing them with his teeth every once in a while. His hands stroked all over her, heating her skin and making her whimper. She pulled his head back up, forcing him to kiss her once more. This only heated her up more - she wiggled her hips over his erection, eager for him to take her. She wrapped her arms tight around his neck as he moved into place and finally thrust up into her.

Hawke's eyes rolled back slightly at the exquisite feeling of being stretched and filled. He was trying to give her a moment to adjust, but she neither need nor wanted to be still. She rocked her hips against him, eager for the friction. He released her mouth on a moan and buried his face against the side of her neck, sucking at the skin. She continued to rock against him, the speed increasing as the need for release escalated. He eventually grabbed her hips and started pulling her down hard against him, making her cry out. Eventually she shivered, clawed at his shoulders, and finally screamed as her orgasm finally rocked through her. She heard Fenris do the same beneath her, and felt his teeth break the skin at her neck, marking her. She moaned and clutched at him as the shudders slowed and ceased. He gently lifted her off of him and set her next to him on the bed. She curled up in the softness gladly, then stiffened, instinctively preparing herself for him to leave her. He didn't. No, instead he moved closer to her and wrapped his arms about her, surrounding her with his warmth. She sighed happily into his chest.

"And how long would you like me to hold you tonight, Hawke?" he asked, his voice slow and tired from the events of the day.

"Until morning."

"Come back to bed, I'm not finished with you." Hawke grabbed at Fenris' arm as he rose, tearing himself reluctantly away from her. It was nearly a year later, and they had all but forgotten about the ominous "consequences" that had been promised to Fenris so long ago.

He leaned over to give her gentle kiss. "I'll be back soon, but I promised to meet with this man weeks ago, I can't just leave him wandering around Kirkwall unattended. I won't be long."

Hawke wrapped her arms about his neck to pull him closer and kissed him with much more heated intentions. He gave a rumble of pleasure and smiled against her. "Of course," he said against her lips as she nipped and kissed at his. "I might be convinced to stay if you can make it worth my while."

She grinned and pulled him closer "I think I might be able to arrange that."

Fenris rejoined her on the bed, kneeling over her, kissing his way down her throat and stroking her…when he began to notice something was wrong.

His attentions slowed as the realization of what was happening started to dawn on him. He wasn't….he couldn't…Maker, no.

Hawke noticed his distraction and paused in her movements. "Fenris? Is something wrong?"

"I…no. Nothing." He leaned over her again, taking her mouth with his own, kissing her hard and long, pressing his body against hers…yet the problem persisted.

Damn it.

He pulled away with an irritated sigh. Hawke's eyes filled with concern. "Are you alright? What's going on?"

"I can't…" he looked away uncomfortably, unwilling to tell her straight out what was wrong.

A look of confusion was swiftly replaced by dawning understanding and surprise on Hawke's face as she suddenly noticed the absence of something hard pressing against her. After a moment she pressed her lips together to keep laughter down.

Fenris glared at her. "You find this _amusing_?"

She grinned and shook her head. "Not _that._ I mean I don't…Well, I think these are the consequences you have to face."

"Consequences?" He asked, and a memory flashed in his mind from the similar words he had spoken a year ago. "…Oh. A moment ago, when I told you I needed to leave rather than staying…"

"That's probably what brought it on," she agreed, still trying to keep a lid on her amusement.

"How long is this supposed to last?" he asked suddenly, worry etching into his features.

She shook her head once more. She doubted it would be long. "Probably the rest of the day or until the next time one of us tries something." She giggled "Seems like a good way of getting you to do what I want."

He frowned at her giddy expression. "I don't find this funny at all."

"You're not supposed to. It _is_ a punishment." She adopted a haughty expression. "And unless you don't want your virility back, I suggest you get back in here and do as I say."

Fenris thought for a moment of the stranger in Kirkwall he would be leaving to wander on his own…but readily dismissed the thought and wrapped his arms around Hawke, tenderly kissing her once more.


End file.
